Socratic

Socratic..if you have never heard of this guy you are a lucky person. He is a troll that inhabits the Arnon local channel. Recently, Socratic has been sighted in lowsec trying to repair his damaged sec status. He also likes to fly very expensive ships with "unique" fits. Particularly warp core stabilisers.
Feast your eye's on this Machariel. Yes, that is an arty mach with WCS and a sebo fitted...

I caught Socratic afk in a belt in Hulmate. My Vengance was barely scratching the shields of his Gila. Tsubutai and Etuura Zellis arrive and we swiftly pop Socratics Gila. Point on his pod is called and we invite him to the ransom channel. No response is forthcoming, the pod gets squished and we scoot back to Hev.

Then Socratic comes back to his computer.

TUSKER RANSOM CHANNEL
Socratic > screw upi
Socratic > catcj ,e of upi cam
Naoru Kozan > we can contract your corpse back to you if you want....
EVE System > Socratic was kicked from the channel by Naoru Kozan. Effective until 2011.11.02 09:48:22.
Etuura Zellis > lolol
Etuura Zellis > i already put up a contract for him
Etuura Zellis > both corpses for 600mil XD

Then Socratic convos Etuura:

[09:26:06] Socratic > screw you!
[09:26:08] Etuura Zellis > o/
[09:26:19] Socratic > I wasn't even in space when this went down
[09:26:23] Etuura Zellis > ? i thought you might have wanted barricades corpse back?
[09:26:32] Socratic > I don't know how you did it but this is wrong
[09:26:50] Socratic > you can choke on that corpse
[09:26:52] Etuura Zellis > well... you were in a belt
[09:27:16] Socratic > I don't know how you can get into a ship that's docked but I consider it a hack
[09:27:21] Socratic > and so will ccp
[09:27:27] Socratic > good luck with your account
[09:27:32] Etuura Zellis > lol ok then
[09:27:34] Socratic > because it will be bannerd
[09:27:50] Socratic > I was not in a belt
[09:27:56] Socratic > I was not even logged on
[09:28:02] Socratic > lying prick
[09:28:08] Etuura Zellis > well... there was asteroids, and you were being shot by rats

Then he convos me:
Naoru Kozan > o/
Socratic > you screwed up big time! Not only was I not in space at that time, I was not even logged on
Naoru Kozan > how can i help you?
Socratic > logs won't like
Socratic > you will be banned for hacking
Naoru Kozan > i'm sorry, but you were plainly in a belt with rat aggro
Socratic > good luck with that, asshole
Naoru Kozan > it is regretful you were not at the keyboard to answer our ransom request
Socratic > I was not even at my computer
Socratic > for 2 hours
Naoru Kozan > we could have avoided all this unpleasantness
Socratic > you and your hacking buddies are toast!
Socratic > the only thing unpleasant is you never logging in again
Socratic > unless you decide to pay up
Socratic > good bye
Naoru Kozan > sir, please remain calm
Naoru Kozan > we can resolve this issue without such harsh language
Socratic > you want calm stop hacking the game
Naoru Kozan > there were no client modifications at all
Socratic > I have conclusive evidence
Naoru Kozan > perhaps, if you need to fix your sec status you should stick to running missions in highsec?
Socratic > good luck ever logging in again, bye
Naoru Kozan > i'm sorry that i was not able to help resolve your issue
Socratic > hehe it won't matter to you, you will never play again
Socratic > good bye

Another satisfied customer. :)